so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
