Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Found your dick twin last night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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