Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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