I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
