Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
