i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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