so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
