He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize