Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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