STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
