Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
