i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
