I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
