With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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