I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
