My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
