It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
