"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize