I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize