Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
