why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize