My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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