im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
