Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish I could teleport
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
