You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
