i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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