He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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