I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
