walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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