I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize