He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
