so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
