are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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