The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
