It's Friday. Sex?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
