she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
