I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
