Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
