You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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