Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
