don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
