Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
