You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize