I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
