hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
What a dumb baby whore.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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