Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize