I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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