Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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