Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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