It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
