so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize