So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
