its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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