Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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