I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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