He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
