When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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