Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
