normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
