I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
