How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
