Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
