It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
