yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
