Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
