Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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