So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize