Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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