Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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