he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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