so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
