im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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