I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
