After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
