you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize