; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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