Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
