Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
